It is the dream of every girl to find her perfect man, her prince in shining amour, who would swing her off her feet and lead her to the altar to utter those two profound words, “I Do” and thereafter, live happily and grow old together. But life is not always a bed of roses or a storybook. Events happen that cut short such dreams, jolting married couples back to reality.
The intervention of death in life terminates lofty dreams, ambitions and aspirations and in any marriage, brings final separation leaving the living partner to carry on alone. Death opens up another phase of life in a woman’s world and that is widowhood -a condition which makes her stay all her life perpetually without a husband.
When a woman is widowed anywhere in the world especially in Africa, the woman is meant to mourn the husband as a mark of final respect. But, often times, they are subjected to some tragic customary and traditional practices which have far-reaching consequences on them, their children and the society. Some of the practices widows are meant to pass through on the loss of their husbands are numerous which include cutting of hair, drinking of the remains of the bath water used in washing the husband’s corpses, denial of right of inheritance to husband’s properties, stopping her from taking her bath for days and outright confinement in a particular hut.
In some communities, when a man dies, the widow is required to marry one of her brother-in-laws usually against her wish, thereby, generating a lot of emotional trauma for the woman and also violating the woman’s Fundamental Human Rights. There are also some reported cases of maltreatment of widows ranging from denial of rights or privileges, physical assaults and even ejecting her and her children from the house built by her husband.
There are also extreme situations where the woman is accused of being directly or indirectly responsible for death of her husband. These women are then forced to swear to an oath to prove their innocence. The process and terms vary in most cases. The bizarre side of this practice is when, for instance, a man was never seen quarrelling openly with the wife or when the man could go to any length to support his wife but people still claim that the woman held his late husband spellbound through diabolical means.
To this end, government at all levels should enact and enforce laws to curb such inhumane practices against widows. Non-governmental agencies should join in this fight and protect the interest of these helpless widows who never chose death for their husbands. Widows, on the other hand, should always speak up whenever they are being maltreated during and after their mourning period. There should be sensitization and empowerment of widows to improve their knowledge on how to avoid being victims of tradition as well as knowing when their rights are trampled upon. The church should also carry their preaching campaigns to all corners of the communities in order to stop these monstrous acts. Traditional rulers on their own part, should as a matter of necessity put a stop to some of these outrageous practices and seek for the promotion of women’s welfare especially widows.
The society should treat women and every human being with love and compassion while observing traditions and customs.
Written by CHUKWUEBUKA OBINUGWU
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