Commentary: Promoting Family Unity And Cohesion

^{WRITTEN BY PAUL EZEOKE}

Today is International Day of Families. The day was proclaimed by the UN General Assembly in 1993 with resolution to reflect the importance of family bonding and relationship.

The theme for this year is, “Families and Inclusive Societies”. It explores the role families and family policies play in advancing ‘Sustainable Development Goals Sixteen’ in terms of promoting peaceful and inclusive societies for sustainable development.
Families are the centre of society and provide a stable and supporting home for people of all ages by upholding and reinforcing core moral and social values necessary to nurture individuals to become useful citizens capable of contributing in building a progressive society. Unfortunately, over the years, many families are no longer living up to these very important responsibilities, following near collapse of the values and bond that regulate intra-and inter-relationship within and between families.
In some cases, collective family interest is subverted and undermined because of individual aspiration and desire, while sometimes there is outright manipulation by some family members for self advantage which gradually eroded the structure and framework on which family roles function effectively. One of the sad consequences is the steady increase in collapsed marriages and broken homes as testified by large volume of records in the welfare department of Local Government Councils on sick marriages and divorce cases in the various customary courts.
Again, unbridled quest for material wealth has completely distracted some parents from their primary roles in the family as they spend little or no time with their children, condemning them to the disposition of house-helps, who, in some cases, are in dire need of care and attention themselves. With lack of parental care and control, these children fall easy prey to physical and psychological abuse as they are exposed to social influences that negatively impact on their behavioral pattern.
Today, children under the age of fifteen have easy access to pornographic movies and magazines because their parents do not care what they watch or read so long they keep the children busy and allow them time to continue their mad rush for wealth. Is it any wonder then that today some of our youths go about half naked in the name of fashion or does one need wonder why sexual promiscuity and prostitution are becoming  common practice among teenagers?
Families, as primary unit of socialization, are expected, among other things, to make efforts in giving children adequate training and equip them properly for their future responsibilities, which must include sound moral and ethical orientation that will inculcate in them the zeal to appreciate dignity of labour and hard work as well as the pride and satisfaction of self–actualization.
Again, the present threat of extinction of Igbo language from communication world is another pointer of failure of families to live up to expectation because it is a common practice in many families in Igboland to first teach a child a foreign language before he could even understand the rudiments of his mother tongue. Similarly the increasing number of beggars on our roads and streets are another indication of the weakness of family ties because, before now, Igboland for example, the extended family system protects under privileged family members from the harrowing effects of economic difficulties and did not encourage them to go beyond family compound for assistance.
Time has therefore come to promote once again the cherished values that make family a special and indispensible social unit. Adult members of families should understand that exemplary conduct is the most effective way to inculcate positive behavioral principles in children. Parents who include alcoholic drinks as part of family daily menu should not be surprised if some of their children spend more time in bars and other drinking centres. There is need for all family members to put their collective interests well above individual interest while couples should at all times hold tenaciously the love and attributes that brought them together and play down on their differences.
Most importantly, families should cultivate the habit of praying together at least twice everyday because a family that prays together remains together.